Frustrations

Today is by far the most depressing day for me ever since the semester ended. This is not only because of the fact that I havn't seen my dear in almost a week now, but also because today is the day that her ex-boyfriend was supposed to be arriving from the states. I'm not usually the jealous type, but the mere fact that the guy came here just to see her and talk things out with her gives me a really hard time. I know I'm in no position to argue, and neither am I in the position to hold her back if she wants to talk to him, but it just scares me what the outcome of their meeting might be. I knew I should never have given it way to much emotional input, but my relationship with my dear has become so special to me now, that I am willing to do anything just to be able to keep her with me. Though I cannot force her to choose me (since we've only just met) over her ex-boyfriend whom she really cares for but I can try to just be there for her even if all we have left is only friendship. It realy is complicated when you fall for a person who is still in some way attached to her past, you just end up being heart brokened and left with nothing more than just sheer memories of the time you had spent together. Nevertheless, I'm not regretting the decisions I made concerning her, coz' I know for a fact that she loves me too, she just can seem to shake away from her past. I'll contiue to wait, even though it pains me everytime I think about it. I just hope my waiting will not be in vain.

XOXO =(