For My Alter-ego

It's already 2:30 AM and much to my dismay, I still can't quite force myself to sleep. It has been a really weird evening for me, and much of it came from eating at a very expensive restaurant with my friends. She was there of course, constantly reminding me of her strong presence as she sat beside me all throughout the course of the evening.

Maybe this is the reason why at 2:30 in the morning I'm staring at my laptop, thinking of words to fill the space inside the box of my blog's post creator.

Perhaps what's bothering me is that she will be going to her hometown for the semester break, or perhaps it's because we have cheer dance practice tomorrow that's why I'm bothered. I am not really sure though, but all I can say is the second one is least likely the reason.

Certain scenes play through my mind as I think of the inevitable, and though how much I try to just shrug them off, they keep repeating themselves, each time in more vivid detail.

I know I am not supposed to be like this, and I've been willing myself real hard not to because I know that things will never turn out quite the way I want it to be. It's a constant struggle, but I know that I can keep it up. I like the way we are now, I like what I'm doing for her and perhaps she appreciates them as well.

I'm really not making any sense here, my thoughts are all jumbled up inside my head that I can't seem to organize them to really express what I want, but just can't quite say. I guess it'd be better this way though, thoughts just jumping out of nowhere, freeing my mind of stress and relieving my senses of this heavy, sad feeling.

I'm already babbling out here, so I guess I'm gonna cut it sort this time.

I hope you can post something in response to this soon.

An Attempt

You know you've been a fool all this time, trying to impress that ONE GIRL, yet never really living up to her standards. Though you know you have no chance, you're still there in the background, supporting her and doing stuff for her that you wouldn't even do for your own girl. Yes, you do have one, just in case you forgot.

Despite this fact though, you just can't shake the feeling that you have for this ONE GIRL. You feel it is your duty that she experiences happiness, enjoys life, become successful and moreover, find love. You have silently vowed that you will become her own personal knight, always there to protect her, always there to offer your everything, always there to make her feel she's special.

You never really ask for anything in return, just seeing her smiling gives you renewed strength to continue what you do. You know you're efforts are futile, you know that ONE GIRL would never realize your worth, but you know as well that you're never gonna get tired.

Just hold on there, stick it out to the end, my friend. Though that ONE GIRL will never see you the way you are, it doesn't really matter, as long as you are happy with what you do and out of it you make another person happy.

This is an attempt at writing for a very special friend. Hang in there man, I'm sure there will be better things to come your way.