System Development Life Cycle For When Going On A Date

1. Planning. You've asked her out, she's already agreed, and the date has been set. You try to create a map inside your head of how you want to go about it. You basically have an itinerary of what you want to do during said date. Of course there's always room for spontaneity, and you try to accommodate possible scenarios as much as you can. 
2. Analysis. Now that you've planned what you want to do, you analyze the person you're going out with. What are her characteristics? Is she quiet and reserved or does she come in a little strong? You have to assess the person in order for you to know how you should act/react towards them. This requires proper observance of said person so that you can tailor your actions/words towards theirs and have a harmonious, fun time together.
3. Design. You've observed the person you are supposed to go out with. You've noticed that she's a bit of a shy person and doesn't like talk much. Now you try to think of ways on how you can get her to open up during your date. Of course you allow yourself room for changes, especially if you found out later that your analysis was wrong. But basically this is a crucial part in ensuring the success of your date.
4. Implementation. So the day has finally arrived. You wear your awesome clothes and plaster on your most confident smile as you meet them. You've already analyzed each angle of the date and have prepared for this, with room for minor adjustments and modifications along the way. Now it's high time that you put into action those plans and preparations. It's time to do the things you've pictured yourself doing when you were planning for this date. If everything goes according to plan and you've assessed the situation thoroughly, then success is inevitable. If not, then I guess it's back to the drawing board.
5. Maintenance. Assuming you're initial planning and analysis created a solid design and was implemented with almost perfect accuracy, with little tweaks here and there, both you and your date will feel more confident about yourselves, and be at ease with each other. But you shouldn't be celebrating this early because the task is not yet over. By this stage you've already impressed your date, now the question is how can you continue to impress her and give her an awesome experience for the duration of the time? The secret here is that your implementation should have provisions for maintenance. You don't go all out in just one hurrah. You do it gradually, with a slow and steady pace. Not too slow that she's gonna be bored later on, but also not too fast that's she's gonna think you're psycho and freak out. Just a subtle enough pace which both of you can enjoy. If all goes well, then she's gonna be inclined to agree to a second date, in which case a new cycle shall begin.

Buhay Maynila!

I've been here in Manila for almost 2 years now. I must admit at first I was a little bit skeptical as to whether I should continue my plans to work here. The lifestyle is a so much different with what I'm used to back in Negros. Anyways, here's a list of things I've observed in my stay here so far:

1. Riding the MRT can be a nightmare. I remember my first rush-hour ride on the MRT and it was really scary. People were squeezing themselves in between lines in the hopes of catching a ride on the next arriving train. I don't mind the squeezing tight or some people being douche bags and skipping through the lines, it's the occasional sweaty passenger that really gets to me. Imagine yourself on your way to work when suddenly a really sweaty, stinky guy stands beside you inside the train. The train car is jam-packed with people and you have no other choice but to endure close proximity with his sweaty arms for the next 15 minutes. Later when you go down at your stop, the back or side of your shirt is stained with sweat, and the sad part is it's not even your own.
2. Everyone seems to be in a hurry all the time. I fondly remember back in Dumaguete, there were days I just relaxed and took a leisurely stroll down the boulevard, or walked around the campus for the purpose of just chilling and passing the time. You can't do that here in Manila. Even going to the mall or watching a movie can be very rushed.
3. There are so many, many, many people. Every day I am one of the thousands of people who travel along EDSA. Some ride a bus, some ride shuttle vans, some (like me) ride the MRT, some ride taxis, and some take their cars or motorcycles. Day and night the major streets are filled with people. During weekends the malls are packed with people trying to relax and take their mind away from their busy work schedules. Back in Dumaguete, the only time I get to see more than a hundred people was during Founders Day or Buglasan, or any other major event. Here I get to see hundreds upon hundreds of people every day.
4. People's affinity towards lines. I have never before been so keen with falling in line in my entire life up until now. Lines for the MRT, lines for the shuttle vans, lines for movie tickets, lines for when entering the theater, lines for buying food, lines for groceries, there are so many things to fall in line for that I've gotten so used to it. Of the 1 hour I spend travelling to work, 45 minutes is spent falling in line. This is related of course to item #3; because of so many people, the tendency is there have to be lines for almost everything. Even buying your favorite buko juice.

There are other things that I've observed, but so far these are the four most prominent things I can remember with my life here in the Metro. After all it's still a little over a year since I've been here, so I'm sure there are still a lot of things to find out. 

Keeping Your Sanity After A Breakup

Breakups are a lot to handle, especially the ones following a long relationship. You suffer from overwhelming emotional and mental stress that sometimes you just want to break down and succumb to your dark thoughts brought about by a myriad of negative emotions. Fortunately we are stronger than these emotions and we can overcome them if we put our hearts into it. Here are 7 ways you can keep your sanity after a really stressful breakup:

1. Lay off their social media. Once upon a time when you were all lovey-dovey with your ex, your social media profiles intertwined and showed numerous photos, videos, tweets, and status updates of how in love you were. Now that you're no longer together, it's time to erase any digital traces of their being a part of your life. No more chatting, stalking, commenting on their status updates/photos for the time being. If need be you can block them so that you will no longer see any of their recent activity. You'll just end up even more depressed when they post status updates or photos showing that they no longer care about you or that they are perfectly happy without you in their lives.
2. Remove all contacts. It's high time you change your digits or erase theirs from your phone even though you've memorized all their phone numbers and can say them in your sleep. Refrain from texting or calling, especially drunk texts/calls at 3 A.M. in the morning. You'll just end up looking pitiful and most likely embarrass yourself in the process.
3. Drink like there's no tomorrow. Go out and have those drinking marathons you used to do during college where you pass out and you have no idea where you are when you wake up. You may find yourself hugging a toilet bowl or sleeping on your puke, having no recollection of the events prior, just make sure you do it in a safe environment. You drink your worries away and wallow in your misery, you allow yourself a few hours to be reckless and irresponsible, but make sure that after that you pull yourself together, coming back strong and determined that you will overcome those hurts and sorrows.
4. Escape from reality. Buy a book and get lost in it. Or better yet buy lots and lots of books and read them with much gusto. Download movies and have a movie marathon. Go for a trip all by yourself but make sure you plan it well. Sometimes it's necessary to just get up and get lost in something other than your raging emotions so that eventually they no longer bother you as much as they do right now.
5. Shut yourself from the world. Have a day where you just turn off all communication from the outside world. Turn off your phone, your computer, your tablets and just allow yourself to be lonely. That time of solitude will help you ponder on why the relationship didn't work, it will help you realize the things that ended up being catalysts for your breakup. Along the way you can also rediscover yourself and emerge from this hiatus with a renewed sense of being, ready to conquer the challenges of the world.
6. Form friendships that matter. In dire situations, it is always best to ask the help of a friend or a family member. Just the fact that someone is there to listen as you express all your pent-up feelings and hurt gives a sense of assurance that you are not alone in this quest of recovery.Choose friends who are great listeners and those who aren't quick to judge you on your actions or why you ended up in this situation.
7. Do something productive. Whether it's learning a new skill, staring a new hobby, or volunteering for your favorite charity, doing something productive with your time often gives you a sense of renewed purpose and help alleviate all the hurt and sorrow you feel after a breakup. You will instantly feel good about yourself, and that's really where it all starts. Giving yourself the opportunity to rediscover who you are and what makes you happy will lead to recovery, and being able to help others along the way is pretty much a really sweet bonus. 

You've Moved On, I Haven't

I notice that you're online on Facebook. As much as I will myself not to check your profile, I succumb to the urge to see what you've been up to these past few weeks. Scrolling though your profile I notice a picture, a plate of food with a caption and a name tagged on it. Reading the caption and the name, I couldn't help but die a little in the inside. So much for self control, now I have to spend the rest of the day moping and being depressed because of that damn picture.

I try to fight my brains incessant nagging to send a chat message, but common sense flew out the window and I ended up sending one. We seemed casual at first, but then I started bitching about the past and how I haven't moved on, yada yada yada! You seemed nonchalant about it, brushing the subject off because to you it's no longer an issue.

At this point I felt foolish and depressed. I will myself to end the conversation, wishing you good luck on everything, but it seemed you didn't even read that last message, because there was no reply. 

You seem really happy, which is what I genuinely want for you. At the end of the day, what matters most is that you be with someone who can do things for that I wasn't able to, give things I wasn't able to give, and essentially make you happy just as you are now.

So with this I say goodbye, I mean really, good bye.No more stalking your Facebook profile, no more random texts and chat messages, no more moping around every time I see your picture. Because the reality is you've moved on, and I haven't.

Happy Kid

THE INTERNET IS BACK!

Moving Forward

It's been almost four months since my last relationship had ended, and until now I have to admit it's still kind of hard to accept the truth. There are times when I think back and ask myself what could have been, what would have happened had the relationship not end. There are also moments when I replay our fondest memories in my head just so I can savor it, just to be reminded that those were all that's left of us, memories. Call it a masochistic act or some form of self-induced apathy training, but basically for the past few months I've been doing that stuff over and over and over again. People tell me that's it's gonna be alright, that everything happens for a reason, and all the other generic words of comfort one gives to a bereaved heart, but it's just not that simple. 

As much as I can I try to be busy with other things, try to enjoy my life for a brief moment, but at the end of the day I still find myself wondering, hoping, missing. I've been trying to convince myself that it's all part of the healing process. I say to myself that in order for me to have peace I must first experience pain, but the reality of it is not that easy to accept.

As part of the healing process, I'm allowing myself to write again. Perhaps this way I can channel all the bottled-up emotions and pour it into something creative, if not then something productive or whatever. Anyways I hope I can keep this up. I've missed writing, and many other things that I used to do.

I guess in time I will get better, and learn to accept that what had happened, happened for a reason. By then I'd have become more mature, my brain a little smarter, heart a little tougher. By then I'd have had ample time for myself and had given myself a chance to do things for me.

It all begins here and now. This is it. The first step.